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Poetry: "A Ghost Story of Sorts" by Jane Ayres

Perhaps I’m feeding my brain with a bad narrative which can be a problem / I’ve been

researching this because knowledge is power / right? / & right now I feel like any residue of

power I thought I had is draining away bit by bit by bit by

Is it true? Can words kill? (oblivion)

Stories to share & tell & tear & sell. Those dreams upstairs kissing the space.

Discard // recalibrate

When I was a child, my biggest fear was losing myself. Reality is subjective, slippery – as

elusive as narrative is subjective. If life is narrative is narrative life? I digress. I’ve known for

a long time something isn’t quite right. The change has been incremental, teeny-tiny baby

steps & the chasm from then to now is immense / it’s like there’s a switch inside me I can’t

turn off & last year I wrote in my day book Be Braver & I wanted to but looking at where I

am now, I’m more scared than ever

The trick (I suppose) is the ability to slip without falling. Unbreak or exterminate. Painful

introspection. A ghost story of sorts.

The song ends (before too long)

UK based neurodivergent writer Jane Ayres completed a Creative Writing MA at the University of Kent in 2019 aged 57. In 2021, she was nominated for Best of the Net, shortlisted for the Aesthetica Creative Writing Award and a Laurence Sterne Prize winner. Her first collection edible will be published by Beir Bua Press in July 2022.

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