Hey, I was there! Waiting for the end of the world which resembled the entrance of the Black Hole at Alton Towers.
As the car shunts into darkness, we are pinned in place by precarious, uncomfortable restraints. They will not stop us falling but may prevent escape in the event of a crash. The best thing about rollercoasters is the slow glide to the end after the fear. The hiss and click as the whole thing comes to rest.
As you realise: I lived! All my life I’ve imagined horror. It’s strange.
I’ve been comfortable. Happy days filled with ordinary delights. At 5 I panicked about nuclear bombs. My brother put the lights out,
spoke in tongues. I hid in a pillow believing him possessed.
Recurring nightmare: mum was a zombie. Blank face, hands
stretched out to choke. Familiar things transfigured by dread. It’s been good practice for the 21st century. Gran used to sing: I ain’t got nobody & nobody cares for me I’d picture a skeleton, looking for some flesh to call a home
or a creature made of sound & feeling entirely.
Rachel was born in Glasgow, grew up on Merseyside, and currently lives in the Peak District. She was part of ACE funded MumWrite 2020 Programme. Her work has been published in Lucky Pierre Zine, Selcouth Station, Streetcake, Eye Flash Poetry, and the MumWrite 2020 Anthology. She is on twitter as @stars_crickets